When I was a kid, I always dreamt of growing up.
I wanted to be old enough to own a car. I wanted to be old enough to have my own house. I wanted to be old enough to be allowed to stay up all night watching tv and eatching chocolates.
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Then, I grew up. Owning a car turned into paying auto insurance. Being in my house all by myself turned into lonlieness. I still can stay up all night watching movies and eating chocolate, but I then I won't be able to wake up on time the next morning. Life sometimes, can be an unpredictable bitch.
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The one thing I didn't think about growing up, is the role other people start playing in life. Friends, Family, that special person, the silent guy who smiles at you every morning: it is these people that suddenly start filling up life and start making things "life-like". Every person starts taking on a role- villan, comedian, hero, loyal firend, lover, traitor.
Then, as I grew older, the sarcastic miser and the grumpy man with the coffee mug stopped being people with lives and families and stories: they turned into exactly what their names said they were: the sarcastic miser and the grumpy man with the coffee mug.
Every person once had a name in my head. Now, every person has turned into that name in my head. The villan, the traitor, the comedian and the hero. They are real people today, who walk this earth, who see me every day and talk to me, and smile at me, and disappear from reality when I'm no longer looking at them.
---
I suddenly realize that the older you grow, the more life resembles a badly written story: the characters seem shallower and more generic, plotlines start becoming predictable, and stories no longer have a satisfying finish.
Or maybe, I'm not old enough to witness the brilliant twist in the plot, the surprise character, the hidden easter eggs or the big satisfying finish. Maybe I'm still growing up, and this growing older thing only stops at the grave.
---
So what have I been, I wonder. A villan? A comedian? A hero? A lover? Probably, a letter on my grave will have the answers.Hopefully, it won't. I guess I really don't want to know.
Ignorance is bliss. I'd rather be the hero and not know about it, than be the everyday asshole and be reminded of it constantly.
I wanted to be old enough to own a car. I wanted to be old enough to have my own house. I wanted to be old enough to be allowed to stay up all night watching tv and eatching chocolates.
---
Then, I grew up. Owning a car turned into paying auto insurance. Being in my house all by myself turned into lonlieness. I still can stay up all night watching movies and eating chocolate, but I then I won't be able to wake up on time the next morning. Life sometimes, can be an unpredictable bitch.
---
The one thing I didn't think about growing up, is the role other people start playing in life. Friends, Family, that special person, the silent guy who smiles at you every morning: it is these people that suddenly start filling up life and start making things "life-like". Every person starts taking on a role- villan, comedian, hero, loyal firend, lover, traitor.
Then, as I grew older, the sarcastic miser and the grumpy man with the coffee mug stopped being people with lives and families and stories: they turned into exactly what their names said they were: the sarcastic miser and the grumpy man with the coffee mug.
Every person once had a name in my head. Now, every person has turned into that name in my head. The villan, the traitor, the comedian and the hero. They are real people today, who walk this earth, who see me every day and talk to me, and smile at me, and disappear from reality when I'm no longer looking at them.
---
I suddenly realize that the older you grow, the more life resembles a badly written story: the characters seem shallower and more generic, plotlines start becoming predictable, and stories no longer have a satisfying finish.
Or maybe, I'm not old enough to witness the brilliant twist in the plot, the surprise character, the hidden easter eggs or the big satisfying finish. Maybe I'm still growing up, and this growing older thing only stops at the grave.
---
So what have I been, I wonder. A villan? A comedian? A hero? A lover? Probably, a letter on my grave will have the answers.Hopefully, it won't. I guess I really don't want to know.
Ignorance is bliss. I'd rather be the hero and not know about it, than be the everyday asshole and be reminded of it constantly.
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